RAPRAM!!!! Heigl before her Hey Day

Once again I feel called upon to highlight an actor in a random movie. I attempted to do a profile of Carl Weathers in any movie he has been in, but that was 1) too cliched, 2) too easy to make fun of, 3) too difficult to find either a randomly good/fun movie (many view the Rocky movies as objectively good, and Predator truly is a classic).

No, today I have gone with yet another action movie in the C-movie Range. This time with that wonderful, cigarette-smoking Mormon, Katherine Heigl in Under Siege II: Dark Territory.

Yes, before she made the mistake of choosing med school over law school (c'mon wouldn't Black's Law have been a more entertaining show than Grey's Anatomy), she was Steven Seagal's niece!! The plot of the movie is Steven Seagal + Terrorists + train + some type of satellite that blows things up + a secret, illegal nuclear reactor in the Pentagon. I am rather sad of myself that i actually remembered that much of the film's plot.

Moving on, Steven plays America's favorite navy cook, while Heigl steals the show as his wisecracking niece. I think she gets tied up, and stealls the key to the bomb or something...

Anywho, Heigle is 17 in her fourth movie and really develops as an action star. It's so good to see an actress stick with one genre over the years. Under Siege 2 (the first one consisted of the same plot on a boat) really flowed naturally into her later roll in Knocked Up.

Alright, thats enough for today. Coming up next time, Samuel L. Jackson as a violin appraiser in the Red Violin.

Here's the Under Siege 2 trailer.......................in CZECH

Random Actors in Perfect Roles In Awesome Movies (RAPRAM)

A little more on this week's RAPRAM. Kylie Minogue in Street Fighter: The Movie

I last saw this movie on one of the multitude of movie channels on digital cable, while I was avoiding writing what turned out to be a sub-par appellate brief (there's the legal tie in!!!).

First, full disclosure: I saw this movie in the theaters when I was 9 (according to imdb.com it came out in 1994, you can do the math). It is just as amazing today as it was back then. C movie directors have truly lost their magic in creating cr*p that is truly enjoyable. I'll take Street Fighter over any Scary Movie or parody of the same mold.

Kylie particularly stands out as Jean-Claude Van Damme's second-in-command at the AN (Allied Nations). Did I mention this movie is also great for its deep social commentary on peacekeeping? First, the movie is great for its attempt at representing international cooperation: each character is given a particular nationality that they must display via a patch or fake accent. Jean-Claude with his great unhidden Belgian accent, is, of course, the American. And, Kylie is British, because she is in fact Australian, impeccable logic. The rest of the breakdown of nationalities are American, American, American, Hawaiian, Native American, American, and bunch of others.... oh and the movie takes place in Thailand. I don't think there are any Thai people actually in it though.

Second, Kylie is great for her, I think, 3 lines, and high kicks. This of course set her film career up for such memorable roles as Dr. Petra von Kant in Bio-Dome, and "guest-star on Doctor Who." (Did I mention the main character is Raul Julia, one of the greatest actors of our time? Seriously, look him up people!!!!!)

In summation, mostly Kylie's performance in the movie for me consisted of: "Is that that [Australian Singer who is ridiculously famous everywhere in the world except America]?" followed 80 minutes later during the credits with yes, yes it is. Hooray for mid-90s C-movies that attempt international affairs commentary with concepts based on pixelated video games, that really have no plots to begin with.

Suggestion for next week: somebody from Mortal Kombat (the movie), possibly Christopher Lambert (a.k.a. Highlander, and the only person that I partially recognize from the cast of Mortal Kombat). Hey, he dated a Princess!!

And now some motivational speaking from Jean-Claude himself, this is why I went to Law School "I'm not going home, I'm going on a boat!!!!!"