Sunday, July 20, 2008

ID-ying Theft

Here is a real email I got via facebook last week, sent from Oghirimba Lumba:

Dear,

I am Barrister James Ronke.Personal attorney to late Mr Patrick
[Ed: my last name],a foreign national and a construction engineer.I have the
pleasure to contact you on this subject matter.

My late client died along with his entire family while on holiday in
Asia Earth Quake Disaster(Phuket Island in Thailand on December 2004.
(TSUNAMI DISASTER)
He left the sum of USD$6.5M with a bank and ever since his death,the
bank has asked me to provide his next of kin.

I have the pleasure to contact you based on the fact that you bears the
same surname with him so that you will stand as his bonafide next of kin
and claim this money which he left behind.

On hearing from you,I shall give you a comprehensive informations of what
to do as regards to this.

Barrister James Ronke
Ronke Chambers & Associates
Jl
ataku lot 25 - 27 lt 20,
Jakarta Raya.
Reply to: jamesronkey@hotmail.com


Spelling errors and the fact that no one in my family is named Patrick aside, there are oh so many things wrong with this email. First off, despite stating his name as "James Ronke" a barrister from England, his name in his email address (b/c this is facebook and your name is your email address) is of course, Nigerian in origin and not British. Second, also regarding his name, the "reply to" email spells his last name differently. You'd think a barrister would be able to spell his own name.

This brings me to my next set of gripes. To the best of my knowledge, barristers don't handlethese types of cases. They wear powdered wigs...or at least used to, no its some type of Star Trek resembling uniform. They speak in court and use fancy language. Lastly, they can spell and use words correctly.

Its just great cause I've gotten most online scams, but this was my first one involving the Tsunami, which despite being a horrible tragedy to exploit, occurred like 3 years ago!

Lastly, this dude was trying to exploit a lawyer using lawyer language...... wait, who am I kidding, I know a lot of people (law students included) who would probably respond and fall for this cr*p. (I've seen it too, where educated people sent their Social Security numbers to an online scam promising free checks!!).

In conclusion....... Star Trek doesn't have money in it, so they dont have these scams. If the new uniforms of the British system usher in an age of bold discovery and boldly going places, these scams will lose their potency.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Tortious Joke of the day


What's a but for?


For Duty!

"Buy My Vote!!!"



Some kid in Minnesota offered to sell his vote on ebay. This actually might have been a good idea, since Minnesota is a swing state and the candidates are spending the most money for any presidential campaign ever.

The only problem is that it is illegal (d'uh)..... Furthermore, it is a felony (which is kinda crazy). [Note: Felony essentially denotes a harsh crime punishable by more than a year in prison. Like most things in the law, there really is no good definition]. The next question, however, should be: Are felons allowed to vote in Minnesota? So in selling his vote, not only did this kid get arrested and have to pay legal expenses, but he lost his right to vote. Oops!!!