Newsmedia on Your Chest

Just a quick note:

CNN.com has a new feature whereupon certain news headlines have a T-shirt next to them. By clicking on said T-shirt you are given the option of purchasing that headline on a white, black, or gray T-shirt. I wonder if and hope that CNN is going to expand this option to all of their headlines and not a select few.

"Expired Food Sold at Low prices"
And for fun: cnnistheworstever.blogspot.com/

Backstreet's Back, Alright!!!

As the nation awaits news of whether or not the Backstreet Boys are going to reunite, law students across the students can get their BSB fix by reading the recently unsealed court documents from their lawsuit in the mid 1990s.

Not quite a reunion, but just as exciting for most people.

And yes that is BSB with Arthur the aardvark.

The Uniform Commercial Code and the End of the World

So I was studying Contracts today and looked up a definition of the UCC (Universal Commercial Code) on wikipedia. Aside from being a pain in the butt, the UCC is generally a benign academic exercise, i.e. it is very boring and deals with a mundane but definitely important part of the law.

However, on the wikipedia page I was drawn to the section explaining how the UCC was created by a cabal of bankers that is actually in control of all nations of the world. Yeah, the Constitutional Party of Pennsylvania, the Montana Separatist group, and various other American revolutionary movements think that the UCC is the means by which men in smoking rooms are enslaving the United States.

Go Ron Paul! Bring back the Gold Standard!

Most favorite political philosophy from the list of 'underground' organizations: There is no legitimate political authority above sheriff.

IPR Freedoms going too far

Radiohead released their last album for free online. This was very admirable, and I really respected them for being 'cool', making good music, and trying to change the legal future of music.

HOWEVER

Apparently the also licensed their music for a commercial for the NBA. A COMMERCIAL!!!!!! Too far, this is too far!!!

I'm extremely disappointed in them because this was not the act of some faceless corporation that licensed the property of a music group right from under them. This was Radiohead, the pinnacle of the artistic movement who proclaim various left-wing values, taking it upon themselves to give their music to the NBA (I mean had it been baseball or college basketball, that would have been ok).

But the NBA!!!! Shame!!! Shaaaaammmmmme!

Unfortunately not a Limerick

A judicial version of Thesaurus poetry from the great state of South Carolina

Wieters v. Bon-Secours-St. Francis Xavier Hospital, Inc:

The cognoscenti of health care nomology trust and rely upon Peer Review Statutes as the quiddity and hypostasis of the hospital/physician relationship. The quintessence and elixir of the peer review process is confidentiality.

See the opinion
or see it via Volokh Conspiracy

Thanks for the heads up (you know who you are!)

Boalt Hall, No More!

UC Berkeley has a law school that until recently was called "Boalt Hall School of Law." Boalt (according to wikipedia) was an engineer in the army who went to the University of Heidelberg, Germany to study mining, which is probably the reason why a law school in California is named after him. (Ok, he was also a lawyer and a judge, but thats all his wiki page says, and i'm too lazy to read his official obituary).

Unfortunately UC Berkeley is changing their name this year. After an exhaustive campaign, $25,000, and years of sitting in a room thinking of a new name, a public relations firm, who accepted that $25,000, renamed the school ....and I quote:

"UC Berkeley School of Law"

I have officially changed my goal in life to working for a firm, scratch that,... starting my own bueiness specializing in name-changing. Would someone please pay me $30,000 to rename things. I always wanted to rename the Empire State Building as "New York State Big Building." I always thought that "Georgetown University Law Center" was too complicated, I wonder if they'll pay me to rename it Georgetown University Law School. That oughtta be worth at least a couple of grand.

Oh well, maybe next time Berkeley will ask newly tenured Prof. John Yoo to write a memo about it. (Ok, nerdy/bad joke I know)

[Disclaimer: I have uploaded this picture that I found on the internet purely for its satirical value. I do not necessarily support its viewpoint, and I hope that my posting it is not viewed as support for any type of political message that may lie within it]
P.S. When you add things like that disclaimer, that's how you know you've finished your first year of law school...only 2 more to go!!!!

Property Textbooks

Everyone in Law school uses the same textbook for property (Dukeminier/Krier). Or, in this story, the exact same book:

http://www.tjsdoubleplay.com/blog/2008/04/we_read_property_once.html

Summary: boy loses his casebook, buys a used one off half.com, only to realize that he just bought his own book back from an unknown thief/not particularly moral finder/unwitting thief who goes to the same school as him.

Kozinski Watch

Someone in the comments section sent this golden nugget of a judicial opinion from Judge Kozinski! For the non-legals out there, he is the Chief Justice of the 9th Court of Appeals, which includes California. He is known for some of the most quotable and memorable opinions, like his dissenting opinion in the case of Vanna White v. Samsung [Scroll to the bottom to see Samsung's robotic version of White]. There used to be a picture of Judge Kozinski on Above the Law with his shirt off all Putin-style holding an assault rifle, but they have since taken it down, so I can't reprint it here.

Gilbrook v. City of Westminster, 177 F.3d 839, 863 (9th Cir. 1999):

Kozinski: "MCA filed a counterclaim for defamation based on the Mattel representative’s use of the words “bank robber,” “heist,” “crime” and “theft.” But all of these are variants of the invective most often hurled at accused infringers, namely “piracy.” No one hearing this accusation understands intellectual property owners to be saying that infringers are nautical cutthroats with eyepatches and peg legs who board galleons to plunder cargo. In context, all these terms are nonactionable “rhetorical hyperbole,” .

The parties are advised to chill. AFFIRMED."

[Editor's Note: In California, an order advising all parties to 'chill' is actually binding under the state constitution.... ok, it isn't, but it should be!!!]

Scalia-ism!!!!!

Lucas v. South Carolina Coastal Council, 505 U.S. 1003

South Carolina rezoned part of the beach so that Lucas could not build on his land. This is a Taking's Clause case (whether the government needs to compensate you for effectively taking your land). Scalia's opinion needs no introduction, but I am going to skip to footnote 28 for the purpose of expediency.

Here, he speaks of how a standard of requiring the legislature to cite a harm-preventing justification is a less than useful standard:

"Since such a justification can be formulated in practically every case, this amounts to a test of whether the legislature has a stupid staff." (emphasis added)

Next week: Scalia teaches us how to place asterisks in a judicial opinion in the shape of the middle finger being waived at hippies.


Update: Henry Blackmun Responds in the Dissent

"Today the Court launches a missile to kill a mouse" - translation: 'oh snap'

Case with a Limerick

Krell v. Henry, 2 K.B. 740 (King's Bench, 1903): guy rents a room to watch the king march in a parade, the king cancels, is he liable to pay the rent? no....however is he liable to a limerick? You better bet your crown jewels!


"Oh Say, Can You See?"

Said Henry to Krell, You can't sue
Though I've rented your room with a view
Now (Oh Damn! Dearie Me)
There's nothing to see
For they've cancelled the spectacle due

What you've got (Said Vaughan Williams L.J) [ed. note, this is the judge]
Is a license to watch, by day
What you both contemplated
Has now been frustrated
So there'd be nothing to pay

-George Marshall, 19 Sept 1986
Wow, not only is there a limerick, but it was written 83 years later the same year that "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco topped the charts

FYI: The King in 1903 was Edward VII

Nasso v. Seagal

Continuing on the Seagal kick, ever wonder why Steven Seagal disappeared from movies for awhile? Not only was the mob after his Staten Island-born butt, but dude got sued!!

Nasso v. Seagal, 263 F. Supp. 2d 596 (E.D.N.Y. 2003)

Apparently, he started a production company in the late 80's with a fellow Staten Islander. Steven promised to act in, then didn't act in, 4 movies: "Blood on the Moon," "Genghis Khan," "Smash and Grab," and "Prince of Central Park". (Note: I think he didn't act in them, I'm too lazy to actually look them up; they were obviously memorable movies). In addition, Steven karate-chopped his way into debt with the IRS then borrowed money and refused to pay. Lemme tell you, reading that case he signed some stupid contracts, all of which he breached.

Anyway, he owed a bunch of money, lost his claims, and the court was not sympathetic to his low talking. Somewhere in the opinion is probably a section discussing who would win in a fight between him and Chuck Norris, but I think the court could not decide and sent that issue back to the lower court of Kick Ass county on remand. Sad Panda [sorry, I'm missing the picture of Steven and a panda but there's some type of error, stay tuned....correction: it's all Fixed!!!]. The End

RAPRAM!!!! Heigl before her Hey Day

Once again I feel called upon to highlight an actor in a random movie. I attempted to do a profile of Carl Weathers in any movie he has been in, but that was 1) too cliched, 2) too easy to make fun of, 3) too difficult to find either a randomly good/fun movie (many view the Rocky movies as objectively good, and Predator truly is a classic).

No, today I have gone with yet another action movie in the C-movie Range. This time with that wonderful, cigarette-smoking Mormon, Katherine Heigl in Under Siege II: Dark Territory.

Yes, before she made the mistake of choosing med school over law school (c'mon wouldn't Black's Law have been a more entertaining show than Grey's Anatomy), she was Steven Seagal's niece!! The plot of the movie is Steven Seagal + Terrorists + train + some type of satellite that blows things up + a secret, illegal nuclear reactor in the Pentagon. I am rather sad of myself that i actually remembered that much of the film's plot.

Moving on, Steven plays America's favorite navy cook, while Heigl steals the show as his wisecracking niece. I think she gets tied up, and stealls the key to the bomb or something...

Anywho, Heigle is 17 in her fourth movie and really develops as an action star. It's so good to see an actress stick with one genre over the years. Under Siege 2 (the first one consisted of the same plot on a boat) really flowed naturally into her later roll in Knocked Up.

Alright, thats enough for today. Coming up next time, Samuel L. Jackson as a violin appraiser in the Red Violin.

Here's the Under Siege 2 trailer.......................in CZECH

Law School Logic

Ghen v. Rich, 8 F. 159 (D.Mass, 1881): One of the founding cases of Property Law,

In Massachusetts, if one pursues a whale and successfully blows it up, he shall have a property right to it superior over all other claims. When the carcass floats to shore, the person who finds said carcass on the beach has a right to a finders fee, but he has no right to exert full property rights over it, and he must turn it over to its owner.

Random Actors in Perfect Roles In Awesome Movies (RAPRAM)

A little more on this week's RAPRAM. Kylie Minogue in Street Fighter: The Movie

I last saw this movie on one of the multitude of movie channels on digital cable, while I was avoiding writing what turned out to be a sub-par appellate brief (there's the legal tie in!!!).

First, full disclosure: I saw this movie in the theaters when I was 9 (according to imdb.com it came out in 1994, you can do the math). It is just as amazing today as it was back then. C movie directors have truly lost their magic in creating cr*p that is truly enjoyable. I'll take Street Fighter over any Scary Movie or parody of the same mold.

Kylie particularly stands out as Jean-Claude Van Damme's second-in-command at the AN (Allied Nations). Did I mention this movie is also great for its deep social commentary on peacekeeping? First, the movie is great for its attempt at representing international cooperation: each character is given a particular nationality that they must display via a patch or fake accent. Jean-Claude with his great unhidden Belgian accent, is, of course, the American. And, Kylie is British, because she is in fact Australian, impeccable logic. The rest of the breakdown of nationalities are American, American, American, Hawaiian, Native American, American, and bunch of others.... oh and the movie takes place in Thailand. I don't think there are any Thai people actually in it though.

Second, Kylie is great for her, I think, 3 lines, and high kicks. This of course set her film career up for such memorable roles as Dr. Petra von Kant in Bio-Dome, and "guest-star on Doctor Who." (Did I mention the main character is Raul Julia, one of the greatest actors of our time? Seriously, look him up people!!!!!)

In summation, mostly Kylie's performance in the movie for me consisted of: "Is that that [Australian Singer who is ridiculously famous everywhere in the world except America]?" followed 80 minutes later during the credits with yes, yes it is. Hooray for mid-90s C-movies that attempt international affairs commentary with concepts based on pixelated video games, that really have no plots to begin with.

Suggestion for next week: somebody from Mortal Kombat (the movie), possibly Christopher Lambert (a.k.a. Highlander, and the only person that I partially recognize from the cast of Mortal Kombat). Hey, he dated a Princess!!

And now some motivational speaking from Jean-Claude himself, this is why I went to Law School "I'm not going home, I'm going on a boat!!!!!"

Yet Another (Hopefully Witty) Try

Ok, its been a number of years since I have posted to my audience which doesn't even include my mom. Quick update, I am no longer in Georgetown or in DC. I'M in LAW SCHOOL, oh joy of joys.

And now, I am aiming to provide some info on something that has very little insight ... law school (I of course am saying that facetiously since law school students are the biggest gossips and paranoids in the world and probably have the most blogs, websites, sources of information next to techies, people obsessed with such things, and teenagers)

So as I restart my blog, I am also going to start a new segment: random actors in perfect roles in awesome movies.

4/20/2008: Kylie Minogue in Street Fighter: the Movie (the first one with Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Raul Julia)

-Cheers