Law Students think they're smart

So I decided to take a class on Federal Income Tax this semester. I wont go into details as to what I learn in the class (It involves money), but I do have to say that many of the court cases that we read are hilarious. Well, no, they're not hilarious in the reality sense, but in the ironic sense.

In at least 3 cases so far, the defendant in the case was a law student. In one case actually, the defendant was a Tax LLM student looking to get out of paying taxes; in another it was a second year Harvard Law student.

First, I want to know how these people have time to think of playing with their taxes in law school. It took me 3 weeks to find time to fill out my FAFSA.
Second, I want to know how these people knew how to file a tax return AND use issues they learned in class. I mean we all know that we learn nothing in law school. Do I know what "Tax basis" is? sort of. Do I know how to calculate [insert random legal sounding tax vocabulary]? probably. Do I know how this relates to the real world? Absolutely Not.

Well, whatever jealousy I have for the fact that the students in these cases went to top ranked schools and for the fact that they understand how to use tax law in the real world is vindicated by the complete rejection of their arguments by the court in each instance. I mean the court effectively bench slapped each of them and if it could it probably would have slipped into "Yo Mama" jokes, just to rub it in.

In conclusion, PAY YOUR TAXES. As an anarcho-libertarian, Grover Norquist worshipping, name-dropping, card carrying member of the anti-16th Amendment club, I'm all for getting out of one's taxes. But here I have little sympathy. I mean in one case the defendant complained and put forth as a legal argument that she was only able to find a biglaw firm job paying top dollar (probably around $20,000 for 2 months' work) to work in New York and not in Boston and then proceeded to try to get out of paying tax, claiming that her expenses on food and plane tickets should offset whatever tax she has to pay. [Expletive referring to the defendant] needs to pay her taxes so that I have some nickels to collect as my paycheck while working for the government.

Save the Observer!!

We cannot let the NY Observer Die!! It is a superior newspaper for NY lifestyle.

This article mocking 20-somethings for not understanding the financial crisis is proof of its inherent superiority. Let's compare it to the NY Times article from last May on the same issue.

First: the Observer obsequiously name-drops the editors of Blender and Lydia Hearst.
Second: it shows the true colors of NY's hipsters, wannabes, and Ithaca College Grads.
Third: it isn't contrived and does not claim to have discovered a 'new' subculture of people who dream about moving to NY by reading Bonfire of the Vanities.
Lastly: it is so quietly mocking that it is brilliant. By pretending to be straitlaced and "objective," it catches the subtleties and ignorance of being young in NY as well as demonstrates the stupidity of foreigners (that's 'foreigners' in the NY translated version which means among others: upstaters, Midwesterners, Southerners, Foreigners, and West Coasties. This list, of course, is by no means exclusive)

Here's a demonstration of superiority through case-studies included in both articles,

NY Times demonstrating the 'harsh' realities of City life: A boy earning a paltry' $60,000 a year eats a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day because he can't "afford" lunch.
NY Observer: A self-described 'artist' explains how a doctor was angered to have been put at the same table as her at a charity event, because his economic stature may not be what it used to be after the economic downturn. 'He was so totally insulted.'

Please, oh please, let us pray that the editor of the NY Observer was not correct when he said that if investors were not found by the end of this month that his magazine would be done for.

SAVE THE OBSERVER!!

UPDATE: and by Observer, I meant NY Sun, which this article is not from..... the Hipster-ish Observer is fine and dandy.... the Sun in all its unmentioned glory is deceased.

Economics of Architecture

Besides loss of money, jobs, livelihoods, pension funds, important things... the effect of this global meltdown on New York's greatest asset, buildings, has yet to be seen. Bear Stearns went out back in March yet 6 months later its building across from the Brooklyn is still vacant (I mean the doors are open and there's a guard there with the lights on and the Air Conditioning blasting, but the only sign I see on the door is Bear Stearns).


View Larger Map

[Ed. Note: google has removed the listing for Bear Sterns that I was referencing in the map above...]

By the way, my theory about the downturn is that right now America is liquidating Investment Banks that haven't updated their logos in 15 years or more. Bear Stearns' definitely was from 1989.













Note: I just realized that Bear Stearns/Brooklyn shares a Building with the Fire Department. There is so irony for the fact it was sold in a fire sale!!!!!

IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!

This post stems from me wondering what Lehman's electronic ticker said the day they failed.

Also possible:

Hank says No

Vacay

I have some unfortunate news: the summer is over. For students this means back to school (after 2 very unfulfilling weeks off after my internship). For most non-students nothing has changed because the summer does not bring vacation; it just means having to wear a suit in 90 degree weather instead of 30 degree weather (gray wool in july is NO FUN, let me tell you).

But for legal workers .... it means pretty much the same thing as law students, time to get back to work. Don't get me wrong, lawyers and attorneys are some of the hardest workers around, but during August the courts are closed!!! Unless a defendant is in jail, there ain't going to be any presence in front of a judge until labor day. This means that no civil cases can do anything, and criminal cases get further backlogged.

The reason for this issue is the curse of the government worker. Lawyers, whether public or corporate, work equally hard. However, first year corporate lawyers get paid 4x as much as their counterparts in the public sector and 2x as much as judges in their 10th year. So how do the public workers even out the disparate pay checks... vacation days, 9-5 work day, and an earned smugness that they have more interesting cases (i don't care what anyone says: murder is much more interesting than derivative suits).

It's inefficient and a waste that courts universally shut down for a month when the crime rate is probably at its highest (August means lots of young people out of school with nothing better to do). But its the price we as a society pay for not paying government workers more. I'm not an economist so i can't say whether it would be better to give everyone a raise and make them work more or to let them have their generous vacation days. But, we can't call government lawyers lazy (except the SEC and their higher pay scale) as we pay them abysmally low salaries.

Sorry Jack McCoy, even with your promotion to District Attorney you'd still be earning 1/2 the paycheck of a first year associate and living in a small apartment somewhere in New Jersey.

ID-ying Theft

Here is a real email I got via facebook last week, sent from Oghirimba Lumba:

Dear,

I am Barrister James Ronke.Personal attorney to late Mr Patrick
[Ed: my last name],a foreign national and a construction engineer.I have the
pleasure to contact you on this subject matter.

My late client died along with his entire family while on holiday in
Asia Earth Quake Disaster(Phuket Island in Thailand on December 2004.
(TSUNAMI DISASTER)
He left the sum of USD$6.5M with a bank and ever since his death,the
bank has asked me to provide his next of kin.

I have the pleasure to contact you based on the fact that you bears the
same surname with him so that you will stand as his bonafide next of kin
and claim this money which he left behind.

On hearing from you,I shall give you a comprehensive informations of what
to do as regards to this.

Barrister James Ronke
Ronke Chambers & Associates
Jl
ataku lot 25 - 27 lt 20,
Jakarta Raya.
Reply to: jamesronkey@hotmail.com


Spelling errors and the fact that no one in my family is named Patrick aside, there are oh so many things wrong with this email. First off, despite stating his name as "James Ronke" a barrister from England, his name in his email address (b/c this is facebook and your name is your email address) is of course, Nigerian in origin and not British. Second, also regarding his name, the "reply to" email spells his last name differently. You'd think a barrister would be able to spell his own name.

This brings me to my next set of gripes. To the best of my knowledge, barristers don't handlethese types of cases. They wear powdered wigs...or at least used to, no its some type of Star Trek resembling uniform. They speak in court and use fancy language. Lastly, they can spell and use words correctly.

Its just great cause I've gotten most online scams, but this was my first one involving the Tsunami, which despite being a horrible tragedy to exploit, occurred like 3 years ago!

Lastly, this dude was trying to exploit a lawyer using lawyer language...... wait, who am I kidding, I know a lot of people (law students included) who would probably respond and fall for this cr*p. (I've seen it too, where educated people sent their Social Security numbers to an online scam promising free checks!!).

In conclusion....... Star Trek doesn't have money in it, so they dont have these scams. If the new uniforms of the British system usher in an age of bold discovery and boldly going places, these scams will lose their potency.

Tortious Joke of the day

What's a but for?


For Duty!

"Buy My Vote!!!"

Some kid in Minnesota offered to sell his vote on ebay. This actually might have been a good idea, since Minnesota is a swing state and the candidates are spending the most money for any presidential campaign ever.

The only problem is that it is illegal (d'uh)..... Furthermore, it is a felony (which is kinda crazy). [Note: Felony essentially denotes a harsh crime punishable by more than a year in prison. Like most things in the law, there really is no good definition]. The next question, however, should be: Are felons allowed to vote in Minnesota? So in selling his vote, not only did this kid get arrested and have to pay legal expenses, but he lost his right to vote. Oops!!!